Wednesday, March 17, 2010 @ 10:26 pm
so i disappeared from the net for days on end. and i turned up on facebook sad and angry. what happened?
1) my grandpa passed away on the night of the 13th, march. i got the news on the 14th. tried to find air tix to go back to indo. the earliest i could reach was on the 16th. and grandpa was to be cremated on the 17th, which is today. mum told me not to go back cuz it would be exhausting. and being there for a day might not be worth the hugely expensive tix (cuz tix prices shoot the day before). and she told me if u come here u wud meet the shit relatives and u'll get even more pissed. so stay there and do well in sch, do ur grandpa proud. after much struggle, eventually, i stayed. but the torment of not being there for the funeral, being unable to ritually offer my last respects to my grandpa. that is heart-wrenching. the grief. thk goodness David's wif me or i would just crumble and die.
2) organic chemistry teacher insulted, laughed at, joked at foreign students in front of everyone in the lecture. i felt my blood pressure rise till the back of my neck. my eyes grew red at her insult, and the china students' response. when class was over, i got up, stood at the back of the lecture hall. pointed my middle finger straight at her, my eyes staring, boring into her. apparently, from feedback, people who saw my angry gesture gaped at me in shock, indon fren behind me buried her head in her hands. and when i finally walked off, jap guy and nepal guy were laughing.
wtf she didn't see it. and continued her insults even after i left.
so the teacher got my class real pissed. american girl fought back during histology remedial. she sat first row right in front of the histology teacher *anth teacher*. and before a question finished forming in his mouth, she answered the question in an instant with perfect, fluent chinese. not just one question, but every single question half-foremed. that changed his perception. and gave the class great pleasure.
dignity.
holding my head high.
do not relent.
do not descend to their level.
3) and the rest of the chinese popn are still trying hard to piss me off. ALL THE TIME. so i trick them back. and mock at them overtly. what satisfaction.
----------------------------------------------------
pride. dignity. grief.