Monday, November 16, 2009 @ 1:08 pm
are you sure it's 12 degrees? i thought it feels colder. my whole room is cold. the bed is cold, so i refrain from lying down. the chair is cold. so my butt freezes momentarily when i sit down. the tiles are cold, and when i wake up i dread having to lay my already freezing feet on an even more freezing floor, so it takes very very long to get out of bed in the morning. i'm supposed to be studying for bio, so i dunno what i'm doing here. hahaha.
i was cooking brunch for myself today with my little rice cooker, and it just hit upon me that here i am, living in another country alone, pursuing my studies, having noone around me that i can immediately turn to. am on my own. and i'm happy on my own. i think this is actually doing me quite a lot of good, being in a messed up place alone is helping me grow quite a lot. despite all the complaining i've been doing, i'm enjoying myself down here, having no restrictions and complete freedom to be myself. i guess it's what i've always wanted. being on my own for a part of my life, simply to test how well i can take care of myself. besides, i want to grow into a person that i want to be, whom i will like, without restrictions. i've always been living with my family and they influence me in a big way, which i don't mind. but then i do want to grow on my own too, out of the bell jar. and in many ways, removing the bell jar is helping me breathe better, grow independently in a desirable way.
it's 12 degrees outside, my fingers and my toes are freezing, so is my nose. but deep deep inside, i'm warm and happy =)
time for biology <3