hmm only during the outing today with my friends did it finally sink in that we're all going our separate ways. my emotional lag time is really long. haha. i have always known that we will eventually say our goodbyes but i guess hearing kim talking about it made me think too. and i am sad, but it is a sweet sadness. i have been wonderfully fortunate to be able to meet the people that i have met, the things that i have done that would otherwise be impossible if i hadn't done what i had done and hadn't made the decisions that i had made. i have no regrets. and i dun think i'm so frightened about me leaving my friends/ my friends leaving me, because somehow i have faith that we'll meet again somehow, because i am sure of the friendships that i have forged with the select few that share a strong bond with me. even if we dun meet again, ever, i'm happy that we have met and have shared those moments together. gaining, parting, losing is a natural pattern and there's no point being too emo or too sad over it coz nothing can be done. it's the natural way of things. i won't say the cliche, "life's like that", because it would seem more like a sigh of resignation more than a respect for what is the natural pattern of life.

haha. i really hope i can go where i want, and that is to move to another place. i need to change and continue to find myself. haha. it's a pilgrimage i have to go through. i need a different sort of air. recycled air is unhealthy. lol. i hope that my wish will be granted. i should continue my pious prayers and dun eat so much meat. gosh i'm eating meat again and it feels so strange. i think i still prefer veges.

ah and who knows in the new place i'll meet someone like Syaoran =D