I tried Wasabi fries after school today. It tasted like well, fries, wasabi, and monosodium glutamate. I hope my hair won't fall off, but yes I thought it was quite okay. I felt thirsty after eating it though, but didn't buy a drink from Mac's in an effort not to waste money.

Holding hands. I like holding the hands of my parents. Their hands feel so safe and warm. I have often heard of rebellious teenagers rejecting to be seen with their parents, but I have never felt ashamed of my parents. More than anything, I'm so proud of them. My parents hold each others' hands too, and it seems so sweet altogether watching them walking side by side with linked hands swaying in between them. I like my dad's big hands (mine is tiny in comparison), I like my mum's warm hands. It feels nice to be linked in some way to my parents when we are walking together. And I guess our family does get envious looks from passers-by when they see us laughing, joking and holding hands together. I don't relish in those envious looks, because I cast such looks myself when I was a kid seeing other kids holding their parents' hands, and I was all alone.

I think I really need a breath of fresh air and a change of environment. I fervently hope I can get away to Australia for uni, simply because I'm finding this place increasingly stifling. I love how Singapore has great infrastructure, facilities, governance and all that. Despite whatever people say, Singapore has great stability, and I do appreciate it. But it's just the mindset, the mindset that I cannot understand, that I cannot learn to accept even after all of these years. I don't know how to describe it because there are not enough words to describe psychological mindset of people. Perhaps it's the lack of congeniality that I find in the adults populating the place, it makes me shiver when I imagine myself turning into people like that. Sometimes I find the adults condescending, I don't like it. It's the adults, I guess, more than anything. My parents, when they first came to Singapore, got the worst lot of Singaporean adult attitude, and it sucks to see your parents being treated like that. The constant, incessant complaints I hear from everywhere about Singapore and its systems. I have no idea why students think that studying is however, however much stressful and it takes away all joy and all fervour. I can understand that it's very demanding, I can understand that the depth of the studies sometimes make interesting subjects dry, but I don't understand why hardly anyone sees the joy in studying. The joy that comes from acquiring knowledge, simply for the love of it. Maybe if people could complain less, change their mindset, and be more optimistic about things and try to look for the good points, people might actually find it easier to breathe. Teenagers don't need to be so suicidal and high-strung all the time. People might actually make the effort to smile when meeting other people. I don't know, but I do know that this place can be better if people change their mindset. I don't understand, and I'm beginning to behave like an escapist. Perhaps if I were to stay here for uni I wouldn't mind either, but one day I might just fly away.

I find myself being less and less understood by other people, close or not close to me. But thank goodness I understand myself still.

=I did not suffer, I survived.=