Friday, February 23, 2007 @ 8:12 pm
i've realised something. maybe it's because i am afraid of being forgotten, afraid of not being remembered. the innate desire of a person to feel a sense of importance in the hearts of others. when the person forgets you, you lose that sense of importance. hence, insecurity kicks in. maybe that's why i'm so upset. selfish selfish me.
my sis said that it may be better this way. not remembering anything may be better for her, a liberation from worldly worries. she doesn't have to care about anything in the world anymore. people will fuss over her, but she need not fuss over others anymore. maybe it's better this way.
but then again, i'll miss those times. i remember how she loves to pluck morning jasmine blossoms, put them on a tray of water, and place it in the living room. when u step into the house, the sweet, strong scent of the white dainty flowers is the first to strike u. now, the jasmine flowers can only sit under the windows, waiting for someone to notice, to bend down and take a whiff of the flowers. and i remember how she would call her grandchildren over to her house when the December flower first unravels its magical, red bud. we would go there in the evening, and watch the flower blossom. so striking, so majestic. but yet, it will die in a few weeks' time, and a year would pass, before the flower would bloom again. will it bloom again this year? i don't know.
i better stop moping. LMCB.